Late July, 2025 at The Hole in the Wall Gang Camp
(The first organization in the world to provide a summer camp experience for children with serious illnesses.)
My sister, Breezy, came here in ’97, right before I was born. She passed away the following year. My older siblings worked here in the summers, and when I was old enough, I volunteered and worked on the media team from 2017 to 2021. I had the pleasure of documenting their new bereavement program in 2023 under G15.Media, and I returned with Andrew and Jack last summer to document a family weekend.
While I was there, I could not ignore the grief shaking from the trees. I thought I had already sewn up these wounds… A few days in, I told Andrew and Jack that I could no longer get the “happy family + camper” shot. I could no longer tell that story. I put down the digital camera, picked up my Rollie, and headed into the forest. I found the truth whispering in the quiet places — in the remaining treehouse foundations, the horse barn, the streams of water, and the heart of camp: the dining hall.
All the past, present, and future campers seemed to say one thing:
“Do you see me? Because I see you!”
The day before leaving, I remember floating in the pool next to a family with three kids. They were lying flat on their stomachs in the shallow end, chests pressed against the warm concrete floor, talking face-to-face just above the waterline. It looked like the most relaxed position in the world. Of course, I followed suit.
As the sun began to set in hot Ashford, one of the daughters reminded me of my brother Seth, who is also on the disability spectrum and has the most beautiful smile. Quickly, things got very quiet. She called out her brother’s name. Under the water, she gently outstretched her arm toward him, and he outstretched his toward her. They found each other’s hands, locked eyes, held on for about three seconds, and let go.
In that one moment, a bolt of lightning raced through my heart, as if all my siblings were saying “Do you see me? Because I see you!”
I developed these rolls in my darkroom but must have used exhausted developer. You can see the splotches and noise throughout. When I first looked at the images, I was angry at myself for not developing properly and not staying on top of the variables. But eight months later, as I reflect and become more gentle with myself and the work, I wanted to share.
Sometimes the work is less about getting the shot… and more about feeling, then seeing, then capturing that feeling.
If you’d like to see all the photos: here is the link
in good light,
ND